Decline continues

Now Mom is asleep, and she can't be woken up. Her meds are now administered sub-lingually (meaning they use liquid, spread it on her gums and it's absorbed into her system). She can't eat or drink anything now, so obviously she'll be gone soon.

But she's not uncomfortable anymore, and that's a blessing. She very much wanted not to have her life prolonged if her quality of life wasn't good, and she's been feeling worse and worse, even with the meds, for days and days. I believe this is God's way of gently guiding her into heaven.

I will miss her and miss her, but she's not suffering, and that's what's best for her, and everything's going with her wishes and beliefs. I'm spending as much time down there as I can, 'cause I should be there when that time comes.

Mom's declining

So yesterday was tough.

I came down with the flu Sunday night, so I couldn't see Mom on Monday or Tuesday. I finally felt well enough, though, to go to hospice. They had told me that over the weekend she had begun to noticeably decline. Agitated restlessness and less lucidity when she was awake. So I wasn't expecting the best.

They had her in the bed in her room, and they said she'll probably have to stay there. That's major, as she's lived in her lift chair for the last five years, and doesn't feel nearly as comfortable anywhere else. But to keep her from getting up on her own while she's wobbly, and possibly fall, there's no alternative. They've increased all her palliative meds, so hopefully that'll help. She also had hardly eaten since Sunday, which made me feel bad. But I couldn't visit her while I was sick and possibly infectious, so not much of a choice there.

I tried to gently wake her when I got there. She held my hand and struggle up as if she was going to get out of bed. Then she looked at me bleary-eyed, and in the smallest voice I've ever heard from her, she said, "Can I go home now?" Oh, Mom.

The nurse asked me when they should call me, as her breathing was getting worse, too. I said they should do so when they thought best. They're better at knowing when that time is near than I would be. It's going to be soon.

As someone I talked to said, it's like I've already lost her, since she's nowhere like her normal self. She's almost an animated shell now. I hope it's soon, for her sake, b/c no matter how many meds they give her, I don't think she'll be completely comfortable anymore. Let her be with Dad and Aunt Kathryn and all her family and friends. They're'll be a lot more love in heaven when she gets there.

WoW - Wallpaper of the Week - extra

The extra this week is also a flashback: the incomparable Mitch Gaylord, who turns 49 today. At the '84 Olympics, he's was all that and a bucket of fries. The talent, and that body, good gawd! Like many, I've always had a thing for gymnasts. It's the limberness, and all the shapes they can twist their bodies into. The mind, as they say, boggles.

Hm, I'd forgotten about American Anthem, which he did after that. Don't remember the plot, but Mitch on the big screen doing gymnastics, who cares?

He's not 25 anymore, but hasn't slowed down any, and kept himself in pretty good shape. Just shows to go ya.

Flashback

Hey, hey it's The Monkees! You can have Davy if you want, but my favorite was Micky Dolenz. He being the wackiest, to me, and also the drummer.

So here's the thing. Maybe it's Micky's fault. I'm into drummers. Stewart, Jimmy, Bill, Rick, Roger and Roger, they all get me going. It's not universal, mind, as I don't find Don, Phil or Mick at all appealing. Still, I loves me a man who's got rhythm. Add in funny, and you've got Micky, the topic at hand. He's 65 today, and looking pretty good. Not so's I'd want to tap it, but I'll always have those Monkees memories.

WoW - Wallpaper of the Week

This week, this week, let's talk about the guys on the Creek. I only watched the show sporadically, but it had lots of man-candy. Or boy-candy. Or men-playing-boys-candy. Anyway, the two regular characters I thought were the easiest on the eyes were the forehead and the gay one.

Today is James Van Der Beek's (the forehead's) birthday. He's not had nearly the success he had during Creek, but he's kept busy doing TV, movies and theatre.

Tomorrow, Kerr Smith (the gay one) will be celebrating. He has the pretty and the studly going on, which makes his less-than-enlightened comments on his character's kissing a disillusionment. Can't have it all. Anyway, the WB must have liked him, as he got a gig later on Charmed. And like the forehead, he's been working steadily, mostly on TV.

GAY ROLES (Smith): Dawson's Creek, Hit and Runway, The Broken Hearts Club