Wednesday, February 1, 2012

DDoM - DeCoteau Dude of the Month

I'm going to try to make this your one-stop post for all things Brandon Beemer. Because the boy deserves it.

I can't believe it's been two years since I last featured Brandon. How could I neglect such sublime perfection for so long? So I'm making him this month's DeCoteau dude. He only had a bit part in The Brotherhood (the very first one), but it still counts. Wouldn't it be great if he appeared in one of David's newer efforts, in a larger role? He's got the dress code down. Are ya listing, Mr. De?

Brandon's probably my favorite of the current crop of soap guys, because he's so ridiculously lush. The two things I notice first on a guy are eyes and ass, and Brandon has both to the nth degree. What's in-between ain't bad either.

The eyes, the bone structure, the chest, dressed up, dressed down, or completely undressed. And no one can pull off the shorty-shorts look like him. I wonder if he's ever asked anyone if some pair of pants makes his butt look big? Hope not, because let's face it, with an ass like that, a potato sack would make his butt look big. As far as Brandon's goes, the Tap, I believe, said it best. How could I leave this behind, indeed?

Let me connect you to more material so you may continue your appreciation of the finest, fittest soap guy in the business (according to a completely impartial poll) (so I was the only one polled; I can be impartial). An assortment of videos of Brandon shirtless can be found on Youtube and at Where you can also find stills. However, better ones can be seen at Superherofan's corner and Squarehippies and Shirtless Stars Clips. Brandon has an official site, but it doesn't seem to be updated often, or have much content, so be warned. A ways back, there were rumors of who he was dating (pre Nadia), but I think they were just wishful thinking.

By the by, did anyone watch Dirty Soap? I caught most of it on E! Shout out to E!, where you can indulge the shallow. After watching, I learned some things about Brandon:

1) I honestly think he doesn't know how transcendently gorgeous he is
2) Nadia doesn't deserve him because
3) Nadia's mom, Fary, has no idea what a catch Brandon is

It's fortunate that he's so unaware of his supernal beauty. If he was, he'd probably be insufferable. Why Nadia doesn't stand up to her mom when she bad-mouths Brandon, I can't fathom. If Brandon were my boyfriend, first off I'd probably be holding off the competition with a pitchfork. Or possibly automatic weapons. 'Cause if he was mine, I'd be keeping him, you know it. I'd tell my mother where to go, that's for sure.

Except my mom would've been happy that I'd found someone, and probably bragging that I was dating a great looking famous soap star. Plus she might've been a bit of a dirty old lady to him. And I'd let her, because I'm that kind of son. Hey, a little bum squeeze never hurt anyone.

Fary doesn't like Brandon because he forgets Nadia's birthday or stuff like that? Seriously? Has she no idea what a gift that is? He forgets an important date or does something inconsiderate, you nurse his guilt, and then he has to make it up to you. The advantages of being raised Catholic. I've said it for ages: the Jews may have invented guilt, but the Catholics perfected it. An expert can wield it to more effect than any katana, doncha know.

So sure, Brandon could forget our anniversary or not pick me up from the airport. Hell, he could forget my name, I wouldn't care. OK, I'd care some. But the thoughts of what he'd have to do to ease my hurt feelings... Oh yeah, I'd indulge. Are you kidding? Please. I could forgive a hell of lot to have an all-access pass to this. Disagree? Show of hands?

Related Posts by Categories

Widget by Hoctro | Jack Book

No comments:

Post a Comment

Related Posts with Thumbnails